House Plans, Kid Style

Frankly, I don't know what I will obsess about after we build the next house as it occupies so much of my non-child related thoughts. The girls are helping out now and have a booklet they have filled out with all the rooms they want. It starts out predictably enough with a playroom. Okay, that's manageable. Then they have pictures of what they want their bedrooms to look like. Good to know that they will be over their co-dependent need to share a bed/nest full of stuffed animals by then. Or maybe one of their rooms will be a faux bedroom, like we have now. Ah, the room that stays neat most of the time.... which brings me to another feature they have requested for their rooms: a button that they press that is the cleaning switch. Now, what I need to know is does this button activate a vacuum vent/garbage disposal chute under the bed? Or is this button like the call button on an airplane and they will use it merely to alert me, their maid, that it is time to attend to the princess's mess? Of course I am laughing at the idea that they think I will allow them to move all their kid clutter/junk to a new house! Sorry kids, our movers are going to do a "bad job" packing us up. Let me just say, those movers will be getting cursed by the children for years and years.

Anyway, another feature to Megan's bedroom will be a door that leads to the tree house that is attached to the house by some sort of walkway. Before you scoff and think that is ridiculous, let me point out that we drive past a house with such a feature every time we go to the pool. It is right next to the road, as if to torture all the parents in town because every child notices it and begs for one too. Lucky for us it would take a good 30 years to grow a tree that large in our yard so I am off the hook for a while.

Moving on, we have the Toad Room. Self explanatory and fine by me as long I don't find a toad in my bathroom in the middle of the night again. Oh, the Fly Trap room. Hmm, can we combine that with the Toad Room? Seems logical enough. And what house would be complete without the American Girl Doll Room?? For when your American Girl Doll investments have outgrown the old computer cabinet. Megan just asked me to subscribe to the AG catalog so she could work on her birthday list. Ah, for that birthday in January? Hmm, I think I will go ahead and recycle that every month as usual before she sees it. Okay, next is the Balloon Room. Well, I hate balloons so I am going to just tear this page out right now. Oooh, now the Library Room I can get on board with and Megan has suggested combining it with the Cozy Room, which is inspired by the "Cozy Parties" they come up with. That just means they take every pillow and blanket in the house and pile them up with every toy and book they own. The best part is clean up! What fun!

They have also requested a Restaurant Room. I guess "short order kitchen" doesn't count? (side note: at this very minute I was asked if lunch was ready, snap snap!) It took me a while to figure out this next page... "The Chapling Room". Oh, Trampoline Room. Gotta hate that kinder spelling. Anyway, it just has a trampoline for a floor. Wonder if I can combine that with the "RCKD Room". (Arcade). Due to space constraints I am going to nix the Busch Gardens room (also, we can't have Sean suffer through any more flashbacks of when he worked there at the Hospitality House, aka free beer stop). In the same category we have the Disney Room, which I was relieved to find out didn't mean the girls wanted me to decorate with Disney stuff. No, they want Disney rides. Denied. And last we have the pool room. Do I want an entire house that smells of pool chemicals? I think not. Also, not a fan of drowning hazards in the house, choking hazards are bad enough.

Sean is still requesting a secret passageway somewhere in the house, not sure what that should lead to. Perhaps to the part of the house that is off-limits to children and thus when I clean it, it stays clean! Well, unless someone invents that vacuum vent/ garbage chute that covers the whole house. Feel free to work on that one, I will pay big bucks for it!

Mini Megan

I don't have old Megan photos on this computer so I can't upload to compare but I do think that Emily looks the most like her. So when I put her in the one outfit that has lasted 8 years I had to get a picture of them together. Emily is not a big fan of being held by little people so it never lasts long.

On a completely unrelated note, let the record show that we did watch the documentary that Netflix sent us, the one I never thought would reach the top of our queue. It is called 7 Up/ 7 plus 7. It follows a group of British children from different social classes, so the first is age 7, then age 14. Now we can watch ages 21, 28, 35, 42 and 49. It was quite humorous just because age 7 is so goofy and we could relate to kids that age. Hoping it stays interesting as we watch them grow up. This is assuming that I let the next one reach the top of the queue...

Phone Woes

Our phone isn't working right now, which is really unfortunate for the Cancer Fund of America who likes to call 6 times a day. FYI, they are a scam according to the charity rankings website, don't be fooled like I was more than once. "Fine, $25 to get you to stop calling me, whatever, argh!!" But now I just don't answer. Oh, but if anyone is trying to reach us just email like everyone else or call my cell. I won't answer but you can still try it. Ha ha!

So now I have the phone bill so I can try to contact Cox to figure out what is up. Full disclosure here, I have never looked at this bill before. Sean has to pay the bills now after some incident that I don't quite remember but there may have been foul language involved and since then it's been up to him. Anyway, some highlights... we pay $3.99 a MONTH to have a non published directory listing? WTH? I think Sean changed us to unlisted so the techs at work couldn't call him at home if they needed him and he isn't answering the cell. I don't know what is more unlikely, that he doesn't answer his cell (yes, he even answers during mass, I kid you not) or that someone at the hospital would take the initiative and actually attempt to look up our home number.

Sean may regret me handling this because there are a few other things that need to be cancelled. Expanded service for the TV? Really? Since I rarely get time to watch anything and it's all network TV, I bet I don't need to shell out $34.50 for that. Well, this is going to be fun. Sean at least knew better than to put me in charge of booking his ticket to Vegas next month. What better time for him to go than right before the kids go back to school. Why, that's a nice, non-stressful time with the children, fantastic.

Decorate like a techie

Back in the day when everyone was having Southern Living at Home parties the hostess would ask previous customers what they used their Southern Living containers and other decorating pieces for. Most did something attractive to enhance their home. I always said I put junk and clutter in them and everyone laughed, apparently that was a joke? No, I was serious. Check out my "home office" here in the kitchen. Gotta put those cords and cameras someplace....

Finally, Patrick uses the bathroom

He kept demanding that I bring him his basketball and I finally gave in and went to find where he was yelling from. Why, there's a ball hoop in the bathroom!

Tis the Season!

I just bought some pumpkin pancake mix at Target. Patrick declared that it was yucky, which is a first for him and then he sucked the whipped cream off the pancake, which was not a first. Emily and Megan loved them but Anna refused to try them. I mean, let's not be ridiculous here. She only loves pumpkin muffins, which are like totally different than pumpkin pancakes. Let's just say she is happy I got a new bread machine, she was starting to get hungry. Anyway, my point is that the box for the mix said that it is a seasonal item and only available at the holidays. Ah, the 4th of July holiday? I guess there are some perks to stores putting out holiday stuff really early. It may be 101 and muggy out but I am always up for some fall themed food. (Goes well with the fall clothes I have been ordering.)

It is also the season we call 2 weeks of civilian pay (equal to the annual bonus). Congratulations Army Finance Idiot, 5 years in a row of incompetence! Gold star for you! But seriously, why can't they grasp the concept that there can be more than one army doctor with the same name? So for the 5th time they have discarded Sean's paperwork for his July bonus. Apparently differences in rank, location, and SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, do not alert A-F-I that it is not just a duplicate request. Ah well, it finally arrived yesterday so Sean told me I could pay tuition or go to Nordstroms, my choice. I choose both.

I do have an alternate plan for Nordstroms funding and that involves dear Patrick. He is refusing to grasp the concept of potty training and when he comes to me and says, "I stinky" I used to ask him why he didn't go in the potty so he could get a prize and candy. Now he will tell me he is stinky and then say, "why I not go in the potty and get a prize and candy?" So then I will ask him if he doesn't like candy? Oh no, he assures me he likes candy. Well, go in the freaking potty. Clearly this kind of intelligence is not going to warrant him a private college so I think I am going put his college fund contributions on hold until he figures it out. Surely we have enough already for junior college, but what I do not have enough of is cool weather clothing since I was enormous last year when they were selling it. I am finally getting around to photo albums from last year and the belly shots of me are disturbing. I will just enjoy seeing them of my sisters from now on. Katie is having a boy in December and Andrea is due in February!

Oh, I'll find you, Andrea!

My sister says that if/when she wins the lottery she is not going to end up on one of those shows where the winners are boozing it up and wasting money. No, she is going to buy this house and just disappear. A wise plan. A few people have seen this already and most wonder why someone would let strangers rent it and risk trashing the place. I suppose the price keeps most the riff raff away.





Yes, that's a laundry room. Almost makes me want to do laundry. Anyway, this house was inspired by Something's Gotta Give and I am inspired to see that you can translate that to a place not on the water. I will try to put the link in so you can book it for a vacation if you want...

http://www.vrbo.com/195031#photos

Annoying Eating Habits

I have a long list of annoying eating habits practiced by my children, here are just a couple from today:

1. Don't realize how lucky they are that I make real pancakes from scratch and they are actually good. Anna and Patrick were suspicious as usual and also demanded chocolate chips on top which I know would result in them only eating the chocolate chips. The 18th time they pull this trick on me I finally catch on. So they each eat like half a pancake. Then I forget to put them away before we rush off to swim lessons, then art, then back home at 4 and they are so starving that they each eat several of them cold, just walking around the house, spreading crumbs. Well, maybe they weren't as crappy as they thought. Megan loves them at least or maybe she just chokes them down to get more praise?

2. When I finally get time to eat my own dinner at 8pm, after endless hours grooming the children after a day at the pool (their hair is like green straw), the picky Anna comes sniffing around and wants my dinner. Yes, the salmon that took me an hour to thaw and costs way too much, but tastes like restaurant salmon so I keep buying it. There is not enough for both of us but she looks so eager so there goes half my dinner. Too tired to make anything else. I did anticipate this a little though and had a big, greasy lunch at the pool. This is the main reason I keep track of Sean's moonlighting schedule, need to know if I'm going to have time to eat dinner or not. Now will I get time to tackle my own green straw hair?

Dinner is on the stove!

This is what happens when I suggest grilling something for dinner. The grill man makes negative groaning noises as I list off grill worthy items and then his face lights up when I mention Panera or other take-out. The good news is that I bought yet another breadmaker so the children are eating again. And I got another iced tea maker so I have the energy to feed them. I'm sure the manufacturers of both those items cannot believe I have gone through 3 of each of them as they were designed to be used 7 times before the consumer tired of them and hid them in the back of the cupboard. They never dreamed someone would become so dependent on them. I wonder if we will ever wear out the grill?

8 Months

Good times coming soon as someone is itching to be mobile. Waiting for the day when I put her down to play and then lose her. We were smart (lazy) and didn't bother taking down the gate at the top of the stairs that we used for Patrick so now we just need to remember to use it.

Regression Boy

Patrick came to me this morning and asked me to hold his hand. Then he escorted me to the stairs and pointed at the doll highchair at the bottom and told me to bring it upstairs. He gets tired of explaining things to me, sometimes faster to just take dense mom right to the project. So I bring it up and then he demands that I help him sit in it and put the tray on. And yes, then he asks for baby food, puffs to be exact. Fine, whatever keeps the peace-- and makes for good blog material.

Summer Chore Aversion

I just shared on Facebook an article where someone wondered why her friends who have kids don't have time for her anymore and of course the response was all about everything it takes to raise kids and keep the house running. Well, I am sure Sean wonders the same thing when he comes home, which of course means it is time for me to leave him with the kids for the day. Anyway, having all 4 kids home all day is not doing wonders for the house so I try to keep them out as much as possible but then that means I am not here cleaning up either.

The state of the house:
-Dirty clothes in every single room, due to the kids stripping down wherever they want to put on their swim suits and then just leaving everything there... which includes right by the front door. Welcome!
- Dishes from all meals of the day piled up in the kitchen, serving as a reminder that I did at least remember to feed them. Patrick is the only one who will ask me if the kitchen is closed before asking me to get him some food. The girls are all, whatever, we know if we whine enough we will get a snack.
- Toys, of all types and annoyance levels, on every inch of the floor not already covered with dirty clothes. Really no point in picking those up because they magically reappear whenever I leave to change a diaper.
- Unmade beds. Why bother unless the sitter is coming and we need to look respectable. Patrick just messes them up anyway.
- Dirty floors. I can't imagine I will ever have time to do more than sweep, this is not summer related. This is a lifestyle.

I know you are all wondering why I am on the computer instead of tackling this mess but I can hear the washer and dryer going so I feel like I am accomplishing something. Sean is giving me suspicious glances but knows better than to say something unless he wants to run the circus tomorrow!

ps We did manage to get 2 down by 7pm which is also equal the number of glasses of wine that required.

I hate you, new TV

We switched out the old school TV due to safety concerns with a climbing Patrick and got a new HD one like everyone else. Then today I finally got around to watching a few minutes of some Netflix DVD that had been sitting here for a couple months, one of those independent films that was put on the list to appear intellectual to the Netflix staff but that I never intended to have sent to me. Anyway, it was shot to look like a bad BBC soap opera, too real and gritty, so I turned that off. I was in the mood for attractive actors and drool worthy houses, so I put in an old favorite, Something's Gotta Give. Oh. No. Ruined forever. Curse you, new TV!! I cannot describe to you how disturbing it was, everything looked so fake and too crisp and suddenly the cheesy acting and dialogue was obvious too. I had to turn it off before my visions of the perfect beach house were destroyed. Sean did some research and found out that he needs to use different cords to hook up the DVD player so there is hope. Yeah, I still won't watch that artsy independent film though, I already packed that up to go back. Send me something that requires no thinking, I am too tired for that!

Ranks up there with the lawn boy!

If our wise with money neighbors decide to pay for the curb side recycling service then I know it is worth it. Thank you Jen!!!! Wow, Sean is one happy man today, let me tell you. After working too many shifts this weekend (and sleeping all day yesterday), he managed to do his one chore around here in about 7 seconds when he dragged that container out to the street this morning. I can't believe he was spending hours every month (or every 3 months during the winter, grrr) sorting that stuff and packing the van full. Ah, no more of that and the garage chaos has been cut in half, so we all win!

Now let me repay the favor.... his name is Gavin and he cuts our grass in 20 minutes so then if Sean isn't working all the time he can golf instead of doing the yard. If you enjoy being able to say you did the yard, no worries, we still say that. That joke never gets old (well, to me at least). So when Sean asks what I did all day I always throw out there that I was busy doing that (in case keeping the house standing and the children alive isn't enough). And as you can see, the kids adore Gavin too. Patrick waves every time he goes by the window but he never gets a reaction. Gavin is serious about his job. Come on, even someone who accepts Tricare patients can afford it! I'll see if JT will pay for the first one as a thank you for letting him take 3 days off this summer...

Equal to a golf tournament

Just in case you were a golf widow this weekend, some suggestions.... all less than a Big Bertha. And less painful than watching the kids for a whole day so the ladies can go to KC.

Why we go to the pool

It takes a lot to wear him out these days and it is bliss when it works. Not sure if we will make it today and I wonder if he will ever go to sleep tonight if we skip...

No feet?

Patrick likes to put on these slider things that are supposed to help push furniture around on wood floors. It creeps me out because it looks like he has weird, stubby feet. I need to go hide them along with the bocce ball set (which he likes to play in the basement, hitting the walls) and tennis racket. He is trouble these days for sure. And not far behind is Emily, who manages to get her diaper off during nap time if I put her down in just a shirt and not a onesie. Yes, 7 months old and has already learned that trick.

So boring but so awesome

Hydrangeas rank up there with white kitchens for me so at least I am halfway there...

Just Like Patrick

Emily is fond of the lens cap which is sometimes the only way I can keep her still for photos. I think I have a shot of Patrick that is just like this. And then of course when she loses it she gets mad...

Too many toys

What's a boy to do when he has too many toys? Thank you cargo shorts.

Toad Adventures

Anna achieved her dream of capturing a toad one night last week and then promptly lost it on the back porch before I packed her off to bed. It was no doubt her plan so she could play with it in the morning. No time to brush hair, had to rush right out to traumatize the toad! They found several big ones a few days later with the help of Joe Joe the Great. I would assume that our yard is toad free now, word has spread...

Girls made their bed...

I told the girls to clean up their room so Jay could sleep there his first night back in the US and this is what I found. And then we had to hide the baby. And then I packed up all the toys and put clean sheets on the bed because really, we didn't need to scare the guy.

Pure Joy

Sean's cousin Jay returned from eleven months in Iraq last night and the girls and I were honored to witness the big event with his parents, Mo Mo the Great and Uncle Joe (Joe Joe the Great?). They even scored some VIP seats so I guess retiring as a BG and a COL pays off at times. We were by the door where the soldiers filed in and Jay was the only one to look our way, I think perhaps someone yelling his name worked. The girls were so tired and crabby by the time it started at 12:30am and I was afraid that the families in the stands who were waiting for their dads and husbands to come back were just looking at the girls like, what is wrong with them? Why aren't they going crazy with anticipation? And why are they VIPs?? It was very exciting but I do hope to never be there to welcome Sean home. We are quite happy with him taking care of the soldiers at the hospital here.

As a sidenote, it is also Jay's birthday today, what great timing! Army must not have realized that because this sort of thing rarely works out.

Bye Bye Bonus?

We finally realized that the van is leaking something when I cleaned out the garage a few days ago, so we took her in for a little look-see today. Waiting for that dreaded call and here are the things we don't want to hear:
1. Why don't you just stop by the new vehicle lot instead.
2. Did you say, "leak" because we think you must mean "smell"?
3. We heard you get a July bonus, what a coincidence because we could use that money!

Ah, every minute that passes, the suspense builds...

Out of Retirement

I know, everyone is wondering how awesomely I golfed today. Yes, I've come out of retirement, watch out Broadmoor because I am crashing the next golf trip. For the record I only lost one ball and I found two, so right there the round was a success. I won't tell you how many balls Sean lost because I lost count early on. Now I know why his trunk was full of empty ball boxes last summer. (I know it's a Civic, but it can still hold a ridiculous amount of boxes.)

There were a few holes there where I felt like I was living in the Sawyer montage before the Lost finale. Son of a b*tch means it's time for another ball apparently. I find it is much more enjoyable to have really low expectations when it comes to golf. It never occurs to me that par 5 means I should be able to do it in 5 hits, strokes, whatever. Par 5 just means it's going to be a workout. Sean said that Grandpa Keek would have said I was at least making forward progress. Good job me for not hitting the ball backwards! At least no one else was on the course with us to witness that mess. Oh well, until all the kids are in school I'm not going to worry about it. Sean is planning on heading out to play each day after the kids head to school, once he can ditch his day job that is (just under 4 years now) so I will have to get some more lessons. Ha ha, like I am going to just have loads of free time once they are all in school! Don't burst my bubble.

Ah, July 1st

Remember to avoid teaching hospitals starting today! So glad to be off that schedule, 4 years of life post residency is grand. Now that Sean has to be in charge of his department he is implementing Operation Bagel to improve morale. I have assured him that coming from the other side, we always appreciated food bribes and had a better attitude when in a food coma, so we'll see if this works. Sweet Emily has slept through the past two nights, which hasn't happened in almost 4 months, so I actually had the energy to get up early and get stuff done today, include raid Panera. Also, the bread machine is broken and poor Anna is wasting away without her energy source (bread and butter), so I am going to try and tide her over with Panera bread. In the meantime, if anyone knows how to make bread dough in the kitchenaid, let me know. The thing came with a dough hook, you'd think I'd be able to figure this out.

Next up is cleaning in preparation for guests, one of whom is a living legend when it comes to an organized garage. I fear that he will break out in hives if he accidentally sees the mess in ours, so today I will attempt to line up the chaos. As for the porch, there is no hope unless a tornado to rips it off. Out of desperation I have allowed the girls to do art on the porch and of course Patrick has joined in.... paint, playdough and even worse... clay. It of course evolved into a clay fight at the end, with little wet balls of clay being hurled around. So there are clay streaks on the screens, the floor, the wicker furniture. I guess a power washer would help but we don't have one. Maybe a big rain storm?

Patrick has his morning routine as a boot lackey so after making sure Sean is awake he gets the boots out and removes the belt (better than removing all the laces which he did for a while there). Then he assumes his position 30 feet away where he waits for his turn to run with the belt to give it to Sean after he put his boots on. Not sure how this routine started but there's no stopping it now. He also had advice for his Daddy today, "have fun and don't cry at work". Good tips. Whenever I get home after leaving Patrick with the sitter he will report to me about whether or not he cried so I guess that is where the advice stemmed from.

4 day weekend starting tomorrow so Sean arranged a tee time. Apparently I am going with him, mostly to see the course since I haven't really golfed in 9 years, so we'll see how that goes. Based on the driving range last night, I think it may be ugly. Not that it was ever pretty.... but 9 years later I at least appreciate the break from the morning routine with demanding children.