What's a baby to do?

Not sure what Emily is going to do in the car for 2 days while her siblings watch movies and play their DS things. Probably scream a lot I predict. Her favorite activity right now is turning some old Leapster video game thing on and off, so I suppose we could bring that and pray for the batteries to run out. I guess this is when the ban on food in the new car ends too and based on the number of bags of chips in this house (9 different kinds and yet not the kind Sean specifically requested), due to taking children to the store with me, I think it's going to get ugly in there.

I may have to bring pancakes to fling back to Emily as that is her favorite food right now and the longest 30 seconds of the day is when I am defrosting that first one in the morning and she is yelling for it. I do everything I can to prevent Patrick waking up at Emily time. I can handle 6:30am with one kid... two kids is not as relaxing and four kids is just not right. The girls will mope around and be crabby if they get up this early since they know I am not broken down yet and won't give in to the demands for iCarly.

I just don't feel it is necessary to watch episodes a 9th time. Anna told Patrick she was going to tell him a secret and then stuck her tongue in his ear the other day, just like Sam did to the boy character on a recent episode. Such an educational show! It was easy to resist buying the 2nd season on DVD the other night when I was getting them new movies for the trip. It was broken down into 3 volumes and each one was $15. Riiiight. I got them Parent Trap instead which I fear won't be nearly as good as I remember... standards for kid movies used to be a lot lower when they only released one a year. And we certainly did not watch them in the car.... which probably explains why we never took family car trips longer than the 20 minutes to the lake.

Day One

Everyone up early. Fighting. Sun Chips all over the floor. More fighting. Discussing the logistics of the pool being open or not. Patrick refusing to put on clothes so we can go to the park. There simply isn't enough caffeine for this summer. That is all.

Last day plans

Rainy and cold but no trees down in the yard so that's fine with me. Not so great for the pool though which the kids can't comprehend. I told them it would be open now so game on, let's go. My last lazy morning with only 2 kids in the house which should give me time to clean up. Or maybe I will put that off until the fall?

Patrick did finally explain to me what it is that he yells incoherently whenever someone leaves the house, usually the babysitters but today it was to the girls. He is telling them to not shoot anyone. Wise parting words. If only everyone would listen to him.

Also, the end of the world people are now saying that the rapture was merely spiritual (how do they know that they just didn't make the cut and it did happen?) and the end of the world will still take place on October 21 at 6pm, California time naturally. This figures because we are planning to go to the ND vs USC game on the 22nd and we are really hoping to see ND beat them in person. Also, it's a night game which hasn't happened in a long time (here, let me google that for you to find out how many years, oh that's right, no one cares.) Anyway, I should probably plan some fun stuff for the last summer then and I am definitely not cleaning any more, certainly not today at least.

Storm prep

Patrick is getting his Tinkerbell lantern ready for the supposed big storm tonight. At what age is he going to rebel against the female majority? He is voting for a Barbie movie tonight and it's the fairy secret one. I would be more concerned if he wasn't loading up his Nerf gun too, he is well rounded at least.

Tomorrow at this time

The girls are out for summer at 11am tomorrow. They are thrilled. Emily will never nap again. I am preparing for TV battles. Megan seriously disagrees with my suggestion to live her life instead of watching a fake one on TV. I think we have compromised with the rule that they can watch iCarly if it is an episode they haven't seen before. Do any exist? Hmm, I think not.

As for tornado day, the tree guy just called to say we are next on his list since we have 3 dead ones right next to the house. Who bets that the trees will come down naturally tonight? I feel like that wouldn't save us any money...

Bragging

It's that time of year when awards are given at school, final report cards are sent home, there are talent shows and dance recitals, etc. So for once I have to brag. Today Sean played Colbert Hill golf course in 3 hours, including drive time. I couldn't be more proud. And this after he worked 2am to 7am. What an accomplishment!

So predictable

All four kids have been sleeping in lately and not just due to dark, rainy mornings. No, it is to torture me because I have to wake the big ones up for school and they are so crabby and they tend to wake up the littles then. Surely this will never happen this summer. 5am parties, whoo-hoo. And then endless hours until the pool opens. I am officially predicting that this is going to be the whiniest summer ever. Patrick has started using what he assumes is a cute babyish voice when he wants something from me. Wow, so not working.

I keep forgetting that we are kicking off the whiniest summer ever with a really long car trip to Michigan and then ND for the reunion. Complete denial. Whenever someone mentions it I am always shocked that it's so soon and yet I have done no planning whatsoever. Anyone have a portable DVD player we can borrow? Ours finally bit it and I don't quite trust Patrick with the iPad. Not that he wouldn't do better than me at Angry Birds but that's because anyone would do better than me. I just don't get it, nor do I have time to figure it out. I am not a super mom who flies by on 5 hours of sleep. Oh but I would be so awesome at Angry Birds if I cut back on the sleeping! Err, I mean my house would be so much cleaner if I cut back on the sleeping...

Communicate well?

Emily just had her 18 month appointment yesterday and we knew she was behind on how many words she knows (which is why we skipped her 15 month appointment, she also wasn't walking then, didn't care to have the discussion about why she is behind when we know she will catch up anyway). We figured out that she can say hi, bird, sock, and AHHHH. Then the doc asked if she can let us know what she wants by pointing and can she understand us? Yep, she's got that down. Somehow she commands the whole house with pointing and yelling AHHHH.

Here is a shot of her letting me know that choking hazards be damned, she is going to have some popcorn too. After watching her siblings consume unhealthy amounts of it for 18 months now, she is going to give it a whirl. So I carefully picked out a few pieces for her and then she of course demanded that I repeat the process another 10 times. She also did that with peanut butter which we had no intention of giving her until the mandated 2 year mark. Megan tattled that Emily got into the Reese's peanut butter cereal (puffed candy?) while I was gone so that bridge was crossed so now I give her a little if that is what the yelling demands. She also understands everything that is going on which gets tricky if I am trying to sneak off and accomplish something. I can use this to distract her though. If I need to get her to stop playing with the phone paging system (which I didn't know we even had!) I tell her to watch out the window for the blue car, which is Sean. She actually does it and yesterday she sat there long enough that he did come home and then she alerted the rest of us and ran to the door to greet him. Definitely a Daddy's girl. And this is why she learned to say hi.

Will we regret this??

I considered putting it in the basement. Haven't told the girls yet, but I have mentioned lessons to them. They've been begging for years and I finally got in with the best piano teacher ever. She is the best because she will tolerate my children. She asked what kind of piano I bought and I could only tell her it is black. And the cheapest one in the store, used of course. Are there other details I should know? It is loud, I can attest to that now. And it doesn't close so I don't have to worry about fingers getting slammed. And it was delivered to the spot I wanted it and they will come tune it once it has settled in. Easy. Now the painful part... pound, pound.

Oh, the baby stuff!

I didn't buy any, but I did take photos to prove my will power. Sorry Emily and Sienna and Ellie... you would have been darling in this stuff but then you would have had a diaper blow out and ruined it after one wearing...

Pretentious Pajamas

Yes, here are my three girls in their pajamas from Paris. Tres chic. Oh wait, they were totally cheap and the girls actually needed some since most of the ones they wear are size 4 and 5. And the girls are now 7 and 9. Capris with crop tops now... I thought Emily deserved something new also since she is wearing all hand me downs this season from some sweet old neighbor girls. So this is to remind Sean that I don't just throw money around like candy at a parade. I do have some restraint. The baby boutiques in Paris were out of control and I resisted each and every 70 euro baby dress.

Chore Camp

So I never really thought beyond my Paris trip but here we are, dangerously close to school being out for summer. I have signed the big girls up for one art class. No, not a series of art classes all summer long like last year, just ONE single class that lasts a few hours some random day that Kitra better remind me about when the time comes. Megan is attempting softball so I guess that counts as something, but I haven't bothered with any of those week long camps that everyone else does one after the other all summer long.

The girls are big fans of doing nothing but going to the pool (and ordering lunch there) every single day. Sean is groaning, I know, but hey, it's cheaper than sports camps, Sylvan sessions, a full time nanny, and a summer home on Lake Michigan. Oooh, or a summer home in Colorado! After a small taste of 100 degree days last week, I am remembering how July is going to go and the mountains sound nice. Sean's moonlighting company is based there, this could work. ARGH, ARMY!! So stingy about approving leave for an entire month.... 3 years, 3 years, 3 years exactly with terminal leave factored in. And I will factor it in. (A quick shout out to Carrie and Pat enjoying their terminal leave in Hawaii right now, you earned it and we are so jealous...).

Anyway, my point to all this is that I wish I could send the girls to chore camp so they would come home knowing how to help around here. I know, it's MY job to train them but they are so whiny. Pure torture getting them to do anything around here. Last night I kicked it off by telling them everything that they should be doing every single day, like putting dirty clothes in the laundry room (which is right next to their own room, I mean, how hard is this?). Well, Megan clearly didn't listen and she came down wearing a dirty shirt for school this morning. I don't mean just wrinkled and dirty since it's been worn and on the floor, I mean there was actual dirt on it from playing outside. Lots of dirt, obvious dirt. She was angry when I told her to go change. And then Anna came down in ripped jeans. Seriously? I think they were punking me since I refused to pick out their clothes this morning.

Oh and speaking of getting punked, we pulled up at the field for Megan's first softball practice and I was pretty sure we were getting punked. It was surrounded by construction debris and equipment and clearly had not been mowed this year and perhaps not last year either. I can see where the non-competitive 3rd/4th grade softball ranks... It's about as important to me. haha! Megan is just happy to have more time with her best friend, she doesn't care either. I am afraid Patrick is going to care though. He was conducting his own baseball practice while the girls were on the overgrown field. When other boys tried to join in and take his own personal pitcher away he was not happy. I might need to hire Keenan this summer to entertain Patrick...

I picked a battle

I don't bother to fight a lot of fights because so much of it just doesn't matter and I have to save my energy for the important stuff. Tonight I had to stand my ground though. Patrick was insisting on having Taco Sunday completely naked. I had sent him to wash his hands, which lead to using the bathroom, which lead to being naked. No, I just can't tolerate it. Bad enough that he lounges around the house in his underwear all day. Clothes are just so restrictive when it comes to jumping and running and dancing to the music. It took me a long time to figure out that he was asking to dance to the music today... something he does with the girls in their room with a very old and full of static clock radio. Whatever keeps 'em busy...

Reality food and friends

Here is Kitra with her favorite production guy, who remembered her from when we saw him Friday. And then there is a shot of Joe holding our food. The production guy asked how big Kitra's husband was and he was thrilled to hear that Joe is the football coach, ha! And then some more food shots for those who never made it to the front of the line... sorry...

The new face of beef

I tagged along with some well connected people down to the Great American Food Truck Race, something like that, a reality food show that stopped here this weekend. Of course I am all about the food and was just taking a break from painting the basement, so didn't have time to wait a few hours to get it. I suspect more people were there just for the TV aspect of it. Anyway, it seemed a lot of football players were at the head of each food truck line and they were so kind as to share their food with their favorite underpaid coach and his wife and her friend, the hungry 3rd wheel.

First I am with my new best friend who shared a Korean BBQ taco with me. And then here I am getting interviewed as the new face of beef by some beef council. She also taped Joe and I chowing down on the huge burger, served between two grilled cheese sandwiches. (Yes, I am ill just typing that). We had snuck around the back of the truck to receive our food without the long line seeing how we swung that deal-- and to avoid the cameras. I hate photos of myself, surely video of myself would be even more horrifying. So yes, they got some disgusting footage of us trying to eat without making a huge mess and then they wanted to talk to me about it. I was completely incoherent, which I will blame on paint fumes, but really I am just an idiot most the time (mom brain). No one will want that footage or if they do it doesn't matter because I'll never see it. Where would they show that, a beef council six sigma seminar? Ah, and it was the vegan truck that I really wanted to try. Maybe tomorrow, surely there is no food left now, the lines were ridiculous.

Just another street in Paris

We stumbled upon this little alley on our way back from Notre Dame, while wearing the wrong shoes.... so much to see, so much pain getting there. Seems like we were surrounded by many areas like this but perhaps we were just lost and kept finding the same ones over and over. Did I mention how delicious lunch wine is? So here you go, one more reason I want to go back and explore more.

I think perhaps I am finally feeling some jet lag. Or maybe it is just the usual Friday feeling with four kids in the house? Either way, it's not looking good for a basement painting tomorrow.

Such an angel

Ah, the joys of having 3 sisters.

Morning Chaos

At the very last minute this morning I unexpectedly had to run the girls to school so it was a little disorganized getting everyone in the car with everything they needed and then of course I couldn't find the keys that I swore I just had. Got the other set of keys and took off, making it just in time to avoid the tardy list I think. Anyway, on the drive home whenever I would slow down my door would unlock and then I'd speed up and it would lock and then I would turn a corner and it would unlock, etc. I was so annoyed thinking that I would have to take the car in to get checked out, using up some of my precious few last hours with a sitter, as both graduate this weekend (HELP!). And then I get Emily out of her car seat and she is holding the extra car keys and pushing the lock and unlock buttons. Ah, those little fingers...

No out of country agreement

Before I left Sean was sure to remind me that we do not have an out of country agreement. I like to joke that I don't step out because I am too tired and don't have the time and apparently he thought I would be well rested and bored on vacation so he was worried. Well, who wouldn't be tempted by the men in Belgium, as shown above? This was in Mons, the university town near Heather's chateau, and this is how they do bachelor parties there. Surely the bride to be doesn't object to this because no one is going to hit on this stallion.

Towards the end of our trip we were going into stores we had no plans to spend money in, including jewelry stores, and a salesgirl explained this three band ring to us. One ring for love, one for friendship and one for fidelity. Well, right there I knew I had to get it as a reward for resisting all the French men wearing ugly sneakers and feminine scarves. Plus, Sean needed to get me something for our anniversary, I just saved him some time (you're so welcome, honey!). Anyway, I came home and showed it to him and explained what it means and he said, "Well, we're going to need to snip one of those bands off." Whaaaat?? (as it is said on Archer) I was good in Paris! Turns out he thought I said fertility, not fidelity. Oh yeah, we do not need a fertility band, all set there.

As for not being tired on vacation, Sean clearly underestimated how much walking and wine would be involved, both of which put me to sleep. Our first morning there we didn't realize how well the blinds on the window worked and we slept until 10am, much to our surprise. I don't remember the last time that happened, certainly not since children have come on the scene. So yes, one day I was well rested, but every day I was relaxed. And now I am back to the chaos with the energy to deal with it.

People actually do this

See, by the last day I was rather bold about taking photos. This lady laughed along with us when she noticed. That's about all the dog I could handle, can't let the girls see this though.

Mockery

We did sneak some photos of people putting a lot of effort into their poses in front of the Eiffel Tower. People watching was our top form of entertainment, after eating and shopping, and we were not disappointed.

Vending machine

This is a vending machine with fresh bread outside a bakery, so you can get your bread fix even if the store is closed. My kind of vending machine. We also saw one with strawberries out at a farm we passed. I did not see one for wine but surely those exist.

The chateau

Heather and Brian have the second floor of this chateau and are surrounded by other families who are stationed at the NATO base about 30 minutes away. It is pretty rural farmland out near them and the chateau has sheep, donkeys, chickens, and a tree that is over one thousand years old. There is a moat and a gate and carriage houses and two hard working people who keep the place running while they continue to remodel more space for more rental units. So of course I had to get over there and see this place in person. A bit nicer than the usual army housing...

The local Belgium school...

Here is the school that Heather's son wants to go to but it would be total immersion, more so than another school they want the kids to go to (on the NATO base). It would be free to send the kids here, umm, a little different than how schools look here.

14 years

Hard to believe it has been 14 years since some random bagpiper accompanied us on our walk from the chapel to the Grotto for photos after the wedding. I still don't know if someone planned that for us but it was perfect, as was the whole day. I might add that it was a very affordable wedding and I may have spent more on the Paris trip. Glad I stuck around this long, haha! We do look 14 in the photos so that puts us at 28, yep, that's right. Indy, El Paso, San Antonio, and Manhattan... picked up a few kids along the way, not sure how we ended up with four but it seemed like a good idea at the time and we're used to the chaos now. I must say, last week certainly was appreciated though. Sean always says he is the lucky one but last week that was me for sure, thanks honey!

The Man Purse

Yeah, this guy took the man purse concept a bit far I think.

Other Food

I didn't want to embarrass us too much by taking photos in the really nice restaurants but here are a few from lunches. And the crepes! That man knew us pretty well by our third morning.

DESSERTS

We did not resist many of these. I didn't know if I'd ever get back so I had to fully enjoy my time. I am having a hard time letting Sean have the box of Belgium chocolate to himself. I can order more online at least...

Merci

There you go, pretty much the only word in French I remembered and I'm pretty sure I pronounced it wrong the whole time. Merci beaucoup to the husbands and grandparents who dealt with the children so Heather and I could have four surreal days in Paris. If we had been on the Amazing Race, we would have lost but without kids in tow and no schedule to follow, our method of wandering the city worked out. Now, our refusal to wear athletic shoes did not work so well and I can still only wear flip flops due to a wide variety of blisters. It's a highly attractive look.

Okay, on to the highlights...

1. Desserts. It's a good things we walked 10 hours a day and then hauled heavy suitcases through the circus that is international travel, because we had a few extra calories to burn off. Even the desserts in the airport and train station are better than the ones here. We would be on our way to lunch but then have to stop at a bakery because it was so beautiful. And then continue on to lunch. And get dessert with lunch. I'm not kidding. I am not sure why I didn't bring back some pastries with me, other than my suitcases were full and I was out of arms.

2. Shopping. I think most people know I wear one pair of jeans and rotate three shirts, so don't begrudge my purchases. As the customs guy put it, "wow, you treated yourself well". Perhaps he meant, "other people lie on the customs form, are you stupid?". I am wondering if at some point I will get a bill for import tax? I do understand how to handle the European tax (and the rebate for non-Europeans) now but that took a few days to figure out. I will say that even in stores where no one spoke English, I managed just fine with sign language. Everyone was very nice and if you aren't obnoxious, no one is rude in the slightest, contrary to reputation. Everyone loves your money!

3. Climbing the stairs of the Eiffel Tower and emerging on the first level in time to hear Ke$ha blaring from some cafe there. Okay, Ke$ha was in no way a highlight, it was rather irritating in fact, but my girls would have loved it. Tik Tok.

4. No children. Well, at least our high maintenance children were not there and nor do I plan to take them on any international trips until Emily is at least 10. The hassle is not worth it and the kids are just happy when they have a day off school, no need to spoil them with a trip they wouldn't appreciate.

Okay, lots of photos to go through, mainly of desserts and architecture, my two obsessions. I will mostly spare you but I'll post a few tomorrow...

More news from the homefront

Don't worry everyone, I've been emailing Julie all of the mundane, day-to-day updates, so she's not relying on the blog for information. Excerpt: "Remembered to take Megan and Anna to school, AND changed Emily's diaper!"

My parents are here, and are a huge help. Having extra adults around to watch the little ones outside and help arrange meals makes a big difference. I'm not looking forward to heading back to work tomorrow, which prompted this comparison between kids and co-workers/employees:

Complain when they don't get their way- BOTH
Cry and say they hate you - BOTH
Complain to HR about you- EMPLOYEES
Forget to thank you for pizza you bought them- BOTH
Fight with each other over stupid things - BOTH
Need to be supervised constantly- BOTH
File grievances with the union- EMPLOYEES
Can't clean up after themselves in the bathroom- BOTH
Might read this blog someday and hold it against you- BOTH

Need stories read to them at bedtime- KIDS

I think you can see where I'd rather spend my time.

Golfing.

(Kidding! The kids are actually very sweet sometimes, but that's not the funny angle.)

Hello from Paris

Yes, hello, not Bon jour because three semesters of French are looooong gone. I am amazingly good at shopping without knowing French though. Everyone understands credit cards. In the many many bakeries I just point and pay, so simple. Don't hate me, I am gaining extreme amounts of weight, I promise. Tomorrow we may do culture and climb some stairs, but only to increase our ability to eat more. Priorities, people. Did I mention the bakeries? Bridget, we haven't even tried crepes yet, so sad. Megan, your book is very helpful and we are scared by how organized you were for your trip. Organized by day? We are just walking around like stupid americans, but are quiet about it at least.

Other thoughts... Why can't American men wear nice dark suits with crisp white shirts and cool sunglasses without looking gay? Also, the women here aren't as thin as you hear which makes our bakery stops not as guilt inducing. I could never come back in the heat because the body odor would make me lose my appetite. I also want these blackout blind things that are on the outside of the windows here. What are those and why don't we all have them? Not that I ever sleep in with children in the house, but in theory it would be nice.

Sounds like the kids don't notice that I am gone so I will enjoy a few more days. I did figure out my iPad so if anyone wants wine or chocolate just email me or leave a comment. Heather can ship apo because she is military here so I may do some of that. No big truck that Patrick can drive though, as he requested as I was leaving. I did find a store called Patrick, also one called manhattan gigolo. Nothing appropriate for children there though, go figure. So the hunt continues and I may just have to stop at target on my way home from the airport. Good mommy!

They need to eat AGAIN?

Seriously, every time I finally get the kitchen clean and I'm about to sit down, it's time to start prepping the next meal. Which 3 out of 4 will eat if I'm lucky, so at least one is hungry between meals, which is why the floor of the pantry looks like a hungry raccoon got in there. Thankfully Emily only knows a few words, otherwise she'd be telling Julie about how she had to fend for herself after her nap. She does take a bowl in there with her, and then fills it with whichever random cereal and crackers she wants. Better than Patrick, who can somehow turn an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers into a fine powder which gets into the cracks of the floor so I can't even sweep it up.

The good news is, Patrick is back to full strength and the rest of us have been fine (So don't miss that flight mom!). Maybe it wasn't anything contagious. Food poisoning? I'd better empty anything that's suspicious out of the fridge just to be sure.

Now before my dad rats me out, I must admit that when our regularly scheduled sitter was here, I snuck out to Colbert Hills for a quick front 9. I actually scored pretty well, as I usually do when I'm playing alone. (Because I play more relaxed, not because I'm cheating. Much.)

Afterwards, I picked up the girls from school and took them on an exciting trip to the grocery store. We grabbed a few essentials (Coke, hot dogs, cookies) and headed home, where Patrick was more than ready to push the sitter right out the door. Dinner, baths/showers for all, and then bedtime. The kids should be looking good at the school program tomorrow night, although the girls will not be sporting any fancy hairstyles. Clean and brushed is about all I can manage. Maybe a ponytail for Anna? Is that okay with a nice dress? Anyone?

So, a totally boring post, and I'm sure Julie's rolling her eyes about now. We miss you! Don't "lose" your passport!

Guest host

Everyone needs a vacation now and then, so I'll be filling in for Julie while she's enjoying herself abroad. Don't worry, this will be a Jim Kelly/Frank Reich type substitution, rather than a Drew Bledsoe/Tom Brady replacement. Hmmm... might by missing Julie's target audience with those references. Suffice to say, I can probably string together a week of moderately funny posts, mainly focusing on my misadventures taking care of the kids, but I could never stay as consistently funny as Julie does.

To kick things off- you'll remember that Patrick had a little stomach bug the other day, threw up a couple times, and then was feeling much better. As soon as Julie left town, I got stuck with- let's just say the "back end" of that deal. Patrick has spent the last 15 minutes running in and out of the bathroom, each time bewildered that he needs to go again. The increased frequency is really messing with his regularly scheduled activities.

Me: "Are you sure you're done?"
P: "Yes. I go play baseball."
Me: "Okay, have fun"
Patrick exits, slams door.
30 seconds later, door slams open.
P: "More poop coming!!!"

Assuming I haven't driven off all regular readers, tune in later to find out how much help Megan and Anna have been so far, and how many times Emily has snuck up the stairs without me noticing.

SPOILER ALERT:
Not much, and 3.

Sorry, 4.