Tax Day Pranks?

I am so tempted to take our tax info to one of those strip mall tax places who claim to have never met a tax return they couldn't do. I want to see their faces, then the tears. Of course at this point they'd be filing an extension for us and giving us the phone book to go find a real accountant. That's what wrong with this country though, too many rules and loopholes and what... the alternative minimum tax? That's a cruel joke. Oh sure, follow all the crazy, specific rules, get your number and then find out that what is pretty much a flat tax in the parallel system is going to be in effect for you, so never mind about that other number. Get out the checkbook and start crying. Why didn't we set up a sham corporation so we could deduct everything "legally"?!

I'm actually in favor of the flat tax, apologies to the accounting industry. Let's stop this nonsense that lets too many people scam their way out of paying their fair share. I'm sure the IRS thinks we finally wised up and hired our friend's tax lawyer/advisor/scammer and thus they put our refund on 11 week hold (2 weeks to go). What they are really doing during those 11 weeks is figuring out who to fire because they were expecting us to bankroll four federal employees this year but I think we're down to three. Once they get time to look the numbers over I expect a sympathy letter after they figure out how much the deployment cost us-- and then them. And then give us our fat, fat check so we can pay our quarterlies.

One benefit to never getting around to setting up a sham corporation for Sean's moonlighting is that his income shows up as small business income which Kansas isn't taxing in 2013. Almost makes up for all the problems they caused us in the past. Sean tore up the quarterly payment check in a small but dignified ceremony this weekend. That will change when he goes full time as we just learned he will get "wages" and "benefits". Whoa! No self employment tax? Multiple kinds of insurance? Already signed up. 15 months. And then we will have a small but dignified ceremony where I get rid of all army gear in my house. Sean can't wait to turn in all the now outdated but never worn stuff that they made him sign out years ago before he went to fire at the range one day. That was brilliant.... and great use of my tax dollars. Sigh.